Parked In: A Yom Kippur Story
I wrote this way back in October, but never got around to polishing it and posting it until now. Finally I found time and motivation to post! I hope you all enjoy this story; even now, I am still uncovering all its hidden meanings.
This year's Yom Kippur was interesting. After school, I went straight to dinner, and then to services. Specifically, we (my mother and I) were interested in Kol Nidre, a beautiful piece of music that is part of the evening service erev Yom Kippur.
The service started at 16:45, and I had what was basically a tech rehearsal for a production of scenes from Romeo and Juliet at 17:30. More importantly, we had a stage fight to completely rework, so I had to be at rehearsal as close to on-time as possible -- our fight choreographer would only be there for the first hour. It looked like things were going to work out pretty well; we'd just leave the service shortly after Kol Nidre and blast to rehearsal, perhaps catching the second half of the service later, around 20:30.
It was not ordained.
Exiting the shul at 17:27, I was horrified to find that the Temple's parking attendants had motioned congregants to double-park -- filling each passageway in the (relatively small, actually, considering the size of the congregation) parking lot with two lines of cars -- effectively hemming in those vehicles parked within the white lines on the asphalt (and each other, but I'll discuss that below). Worse, there was one BMW 525i that was just barely blocking the one possible escape route. Honestly, had it not been for that one car, I could have gotten to rehearsal five or ten minutes late -- not bad for a holiday. But that BMW was in the way, and I was stuck.
What could I do? We went back inside. There was nothing else to be done except wait for the end of the service and get to rehearsal as soon as possible.
As it happened, the rabbi delivered a very moving sermon that evening. I felt like I suddenly knew why that one BMW had been parked behind our car. If we'd been able to get out, we would have left and missed that sermon.
Even better, when I finally did get to rehearsal, everyone was quite understanding and the fight choreographer had stayed late just for me. I am grateful for that, and for the sermon that I came so close to missing. When something is supposed to happen, the universe rearranges itself to make that something possible. I find that amazing.
Technobabbles Strips for a Day
You might notice something different about this site for the next 24 hours or so if you're a regular reader. The page looks different, doesn't it? I'll explain why right now.
See, I have a feed subscription to someone named Dustin Diaz, who runs his own blog. He started CSS Naked Day in 2006, and had another one last year with over 1,600 participants. This year, April 9th is the date, and I'm participating as well.
CSS Naked Day shows off how much CSS has changed Web design. Sites that use standards-compliant and semantic markup will be perfectly functional without styles. Those that abuse tags to get certain effects might not be so lucky. For more details, visit the Day's site.
I removed the CSS for a minute or two on April 8th as a test to see how it would look during the event. If you visited during that short time, around 05:30 that morning (CDT), you would have seen a CSS-free page. It looks the same right now. Technobabbles' look will be back to normal around midnight April 10th.
I'll admit I did leave a few snippets of styling in place -- inline styles in posts and sidebar modules (which are at the bottom for this one day due to the lack of CSS) would be too difficult to find, remove, and then restore for one day. There are hundreds of them. I also don't have much control over the styles imported by sidebar widgets, so they will look normal, if a bit stretched.
For those of you reading in a feed reader, why don't you click through and take a look at how the site looks without any styles?
My Take on April Fools’ Day
So the last couple days have been full of lots of jokes and pranks, at least in the technology world. Google pulled several, including a Gmail hoax I actually found amusing, and a slew of other sites posted their own jokes.
Notice that I didn't pull any pranks of my own. The reasoning for that is twofold. First, I didn't really have any good ideas. Second, the whole boatload of other pranks out there requires that some bloggers stick to their usual routine.
You see, I view April Fools' Day as just another day. There is a bit of annoyance when people make jokes that aren't easily distinguishable as such. The date, April 1, when applied to anything written online, means you should take what you're reading with a large grain of salt. Chances are it's a joke.
Fortunately, most (if not all) Internet big-timers are back to their usual business by now. That means I can turn on my feed-reading eyes for real and not worry about being hoodwinked. Maybe.
Actually, the one day of joking around is kind of fun. I saw some pretty cool pranks (Matt Cutts was right up there with his iPhone-plugs-into-anything hoax). The real irritation came from the fact that all this started on March 31. April Fools' Day has gotten too big for one day, apparently. Now it's two days. That's twice the amount of time one must go not being able to trust anything one reads online.
So to summarize, I like April Fools' Day pranks in moderation, when they're confined to the actual Day. And a prompt admission right after the fact couldn't hurt.
Incidentally, since the Day started a day early, the Google Gears API Blog seemed to feel it necessary to post that no, the announcements about Google Docs getting offline access were not an elaborate hoax complete with video. That's what you get for announcing something near the day your company is known for, eh? That in and of itself was funny, and scary at the same time. Google Blogoscoped included the Google Docs offline announcement on a list of April Fools' Day pranks, which scared the heck out of me when I read it before I remembered that it had been announced before the Day and had already been covered by several reputable news outlets. Fortunately my confidence was well-placed. I might have had to alter my own coverage to add a note that it was a big joke from Google...
Holiday Gift Cards
OK it's the end of the year when all good friends need to use up previous gift cards before they expire. Huh! What a joke. What a scam. Your friends pay good money to buy you a nice gift, say $100, from somewhere that they think you'll enjoy the merchandise. You take your time to think carefully about how or when to spend it. Finally you have it. But alas, the fine print on the reverse of the card says it's only good for one year. Last Christmas to this Christmas. Oops! Minus one gift from last year. The merchant has effectively stolen your friend's money. They paid. But the store did not deliver. And you didn't receive.
What's the deal? The $100 isn't going anywhere. The store has had the use of it for an entire year. It's like paying for an outfit in advance, allowing the store to order it, then telling you it's too late to pick it up. They're keeping the outfit and your money. Is this cheating or what?
Or worse: when they deduct a "finance charge" of $1-2 for your not redeeming the gift. Like they're really working hard to keep your friends money. It is really costing them a fortune while you decide how you might spend the gift card. Exactly for what is the "fee" paying?
All of this really irks me. I implore anyone reading this: read the fine print. Do not purchase any gift card which has any sort of expiration date. Urge your friends to do the same. Better yet, boycott the whole business until they come up with a better gift idea than that.
Amusing Holiday Greeting
Steve Bass published an interesting, amusing holiday greeting in his latest column, sent in by a reader:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the recipient of said wish.
By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Apparently, the author works in a law firm, which would explain the stilted, formal language. I think it just makes it more amusing.
Whole Foods Makes Amazing Decision
Well, it wasn't the whole chain, just one store, but it really makes one wonder what the world would be like if all companies (hey, just start with the airlines) had the same attitude.
West Hartford, CT: A Whole Foods Market store's computers go down during a systems upgrade. Rather than make customers wait until they're fixed, everyone going through the checkout lines gets their groceries for free. An estimated $4,000 worth of merchandise was given away before the glitch was repaired.
You can read more of the story at Courant.com (though it does have a small, completely-unrelated section at the bottom).
I kind of wish all businesses were run like this. I've been places where, if the credit card machine (say) goes down, they don't even know how to use the manual slider (or don't have one, sometimes). Man, if they'd behave like Whole Foods did in this situation...
Macy’s Parade: Entertainment or Disguised Advertising?
I'm not going to write another 600-word opus on this (I have other things that need doing), but I do want to point out a few things I noticed about the Macy's Parade yesterday morning.
First off, did anyone else notice that, at least on NBC, the commercials were synchronized with the balloons and floats that were going by? I mean! Examples: the Barbie float went by, with the singer happily (?) belting out a song from the new Barbie movie, and then the next commercial break, we get treated to a promotional ad for the DVD and Blu-ray release. The Snoopy balloon floats by, then the next commercial break has a commercial with Snoopy in it (this one isn't so bad; Snoopy was just a minor figure, not the subject). And the most blatant one, the Ronald McDonald balloon, accompanied by glowing comments from the press box and followed by a McDonald's commercial.
Not only were the commercials synchronized (I'd list more examples, but that's what I get for waiting until the next day); the announcers were also paying so much lip service to all the various children's figures I thought they'd sprain something (which mightn't have been a bad thing, come to think of it). Dora the Explorer goes by and they extol her virtues (responsibility, exploration, teaching Spanish...). The Sesame Street float comes along and those reporters just launch into a tirade about how Sesame Street has been so successful and how it's so good for our kids. Scooby-Doo's balloon arrives, and they go off on how good that is.
They even swooned over the Google balloon -- can't argue with that 
. (OK, there was no Google balloon, but there should have been.)
On top of all these thinly-disguised marketing pitches -- appealing no doubt to the kids watching on national TV -- the cameras never seemed to want to focus on what was going on. Instead, they cheated the shots to get the Macy's signs in the frame as much as possible. Especially the "The Biggest Store in the World" sign out front. I remember one balloon in particular when the camera crew just seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that they were cutting off part of the balloon in favor of keeping the Macy's sign on-screen. Even when they zoomed in, the balloon still wasn't centered. Advertising, advertising, advertising...
Before I let go of your ear and go back to my regularly scheduled, er, work, let me just mention their musical selections. Usually when I watched the parade in the past, the music was quite good, performed by a lot of artists I'd heard of for as long as I could remember. This year, there were obscure country-western singers (I don't do that stuff), first-time-on-Broadway artists, British what's-her-names, and a whole bunch of other people and bands that I'd just plain never seen before yesterday morning. And don't forget their incredible appetite for Disney stars -- haven't we heard enough about the High School Musical crew by now (and the show itself)?
What I'm trying to point out is that the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (its full name, of course) appears to my point of view to be nothing more than advertising for Macy's, the already-popular children's characters, and all the unknown artists, bands, and performing groups that walk the route. I'm just saying, it doesn't seem like it's pure entertainment without a capitalistic motive.
Whoops, looks like this one's about as long as my last post. Oh well, I tried...
And So It Begins… Thoughts on "The Holidays"
Once again, the day of first snowfall has beset this Northern state. Outside my window, I can see flakes falling and beginning to cover the grass outside. It's the time of year for the Macy's Parade; the time for Christmas carols; and the time of ringing bells outside department stores. It's the holiday season. The most wonderful time of the year.
Aw, who am I kidding? I'm not that sappy. Strike all that text up there; it's not me.
The holiday season is not the "most wonderful time of the year" to me. There's so much marketing, commercialization, and downright scamming going on this season that I just can't tolerate it anymore. The Hallmark cards, the thousands of Santas everywhere, the elves collecting donations... Never business as usual. And don't forget the trees everywhere. I don't object to colorful lights at all -- I rather enjoy them -- but the ornaments and angels, the stars and name-known babies, are too religious for my taste.
Remove the marketing, the ads, Santa, and all the other things we've inserted, and you're left with a religious celebration; a celebration that's been turned into a secular holiday, a break for the entire country. National holidays are all well and good. I've no objection to Memorial Day, Veterans' Day, July 4th -- they commemorate worthy events or people -- but taking religious festivals and making them into national holidays... Er, not my favorite thing.
Especially, consider that Thanksgiving is nothing more (as far as I know, of course) than a commemoration of the pilgrims' first fall here in the United States. Now consider the significant religious background of Christmas, the birth of Christ. The two holidays are based on completely different ideals and sources.
I don't mind Thanksgiving, because it's always been an excuse to get together with friends and family to have a nice meal with a long conversation, both before and after; and because it isn't the subject of a slew of marketing campaigns. The idea of having one day a year to get together, though, is questionable -- why not do it once a month (too infrequent), once a week (doable), every day (maybe too much)...? Sounds a lot like Mothers' and Fathers' Days. Are we only supposed to honor each of our parents one day of the year? I smell a Hallmark holiday...
Christmas, for all the reasons mentioned above and more, gets noisome after a while. I can only listen to "Deck the Halls" so many times without groaning -- or "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" without sighing -- and the never-ending carolers don't help. Whether broadcast on the radio, over the speaker system in a store or restaurant, sung by a professional choir loitering in the lobby of a skyscraper downtown, or simply hummed by people going about their business, Christmas carols have moved on from their role in church services to become part of popular culture.
The music is wonderful, don't get me wrong. Many of the best works were composed for the church: J. S. Bach's Brandenburgs, for example. But the carols we use today are simply overused. Pieces like William Tell's Overture and the 1812 Overture, and the Can-Can, have been played so many times that many people just sigh with annoyance when they are used again. Tell's piece is particularly overused, as background for chase scenes -- but that's a subject for a later post.
Please, feel free to voice your own interpretation of the holiday season in the comments. Anything that isn't openly harassing or aggressive will be allowed to stay, of course.
Hallowe’en Bah Humbug
Hallowe'en (yes, it has an apostrophe; get over it) is one of my least favorite holidays. Personally, I find it serves no real purpose other than to sell costumes, candy, and (sometimes) cards. Oh, and don't forget all the decorations. I'm glad to see Blogger hasn't modified their logo in any way for Hallowe'en, though the Google search engine, Technorati, and FriendFeed (to name a few; the last one's a private beta right now) all have Hallowe'en-themed modifications in place right now, to my dismay.
So what's the big deal with this Hallowe'en holiday, anyway? Where did it come from, and why do we celebrate it? Who came up with the idea of "Trick or Treat"? Perhaps Wikipedia can answer at least one of those questions.
Hallowe'en originated from an old Celtic holiday called Samhain, which celebrated the end of the harvest with a feast. The word also refers to November in the Gaelic languages. Samhain is still celebrated by several cultures, and has branched out to become the secular Hallowe'en and the Catholic All Souls' Day.
Hallowe'en itself is a contraction of "All-hallow-even," as it is the eve of "All Hallows' Day" (now also known as "All Saints' Day"). It is based on Celtic views that the day on which the holiday is celebrated is one of the few days of the year when spirits can make contact with the physical world. The trick-or-treating tradition, interestingly, while similar to the older Irish traditions of guising, seems to have originated in North America in the last century.
The holiday, in its North American form, at any rate, seems to have been rather modified to be a treat for kids (yes, I know, ouch) rather than a holiday proper. With people spending on the order of $5,000,000,000 on costumes (in 2006), at an average cost of about $40 a costume (in 2005), the holiday is more commercial than anything else.
I don't see it as much different from Christmas, for which the commercialization starts the day after Thanksgiving, or sooner. I might be a little happier if holidays like Hanukkah and Ramadan got such attention, too, though commercialization would be just as unwelcome (to me) on those holidays as it is on Hallowe'en and Christmas...
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